Who would like to read a biography written by ... a pet??
I am pleased to present Miriam Drori's bio. Enjoy!
A BIO Written by the Late Great King Toby
Miriam Drori is a timid creature. She flinches every time one jumps up on her lap, and positively gasps in fright if that happens while she’s concentrating on the screen in front of her. Serves her right. She should be concentrating on one whenever one is in her vicinity.
Miriam claims to have had a life before one came to rule her. It includes living on some island over three thousand kilometres from here, where she suffered through school, obtained a degree in Maths and worked as a computer programmer for two years. One has serious doubts about all of that. It is much more likely that she came into being purely in order to serve one.
The story goes on that she chose to move to this country of her own accord, which is clearly ridiculous. Surely no one would choose to live in a place where there are days that are so hot that one just wants to lie on the earth between the flowers in a sedentary state. However, one understands that the island could be very cold and wet for long periods, so on second thoughts this country doesn’t come off so badly, after all. Miriam isn’t fortunate enough to have fur to keep her warm, although she does have outer layers that she’s constantly removing, washing, drying, replacing. Who’d want to be a human?
Miriam continued to work in computer programming for several years, if you believe the narrative, before switching to technical writing. Now she works from home, mostly in the service of one. In her spare time, she writes books of various genres that have been published. Her publisher used to be called Crooked Cat, a name one distained and hence ordered the change to Darkstroke. Apparently, Miriam considers this publishing of her books an enormous achievement. One begs to differ. Her biggest achievement is to provide one with food every day and open the door whenever one requests her to do so. Her performance of these tasks is passable, although she tends to be rather slow at them.
Yes, those are her main features: slow and timid. But she tries. Lately, she and the David human have been running in circles around the house like mad things. One watches them with amusement from the relative safety of the sofa. They follow this with push-ups, sit-ups and upside-down cycling on the rug. Presumably, they are getting in trim so that they can be of better service to one. Miriam often goes out in the evenings to folk dancing. One lets her go because this also keeps her fit for one.
Last thing: she claims to have social anxiety and to be passionate about raising awareness of said disorder. If she fixed her attention on the vital task of being one’s slave, she would have no need of social contact and hence no problem.
Shine on, Miriam! 🌞